"If you are going to use my back to get out of this bucket then make sure where you are going is worth it!"

The Crab in the Bucket story is common amongst the people I know. It's the story about 'the one' crab trying to get out of the bucket while another pulls it down back into the bucket. The bucket is so full that all the crabs are on top of each other. End of Story...The interpretation of the story being, as you work to get out of your situation there is someone there to pull you back into the misery you are trying to get out of.

We can analyze this story and have an educated discussion about it but that's for another day. The meaning of the story for me is- me climbing my ass out of poverty. The game of borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. Living from paycheck to paycheck. The debt that keeps building because the 'American Dream' does cost. The day to day costs of living here are growing.

When I hear this story told amongst my friends, gossip or humiliation describes, “the pull back into the bucket” . These destructive behaviors pull someone back into the misery of everyone else. Everyone else being poor, disenfrancished, marginalized, or “just getting by”.

Over the years I've learned to develop a thick skin, so to speak, about people talking behind my back. I hear the comments and half-spoken truths disguised as gossip. At first, I was hurt and didn't understand why people were doing this. People I didn't even know. Gossip that is so extraordinary that it's laughable.

I then began to realize that if the comments and gossip are not true then why am I giving them any energy. I know my life because I am living it. I know my decisions and my intentions. I know who I am. Your interpretation of MY life is YOURS.

The people who know me, know my character and behavior ask me if they hear something odd. Believe me, I've gotten those calls. “Gurhl, I heard such and such about you...” After reassuring them, we have a good laugh.

I developed this attitude because I know where I'm going. I know what I want out of my life. You are welcome to be a productive and meaningful part of my life if not get to steppin'.

With all that said, “If you are going to use my back to get out of this bucket then make sure where you are going is worth it!"

I don't have time cause I'm already on the other side...ttyl