I need a Man!: Getting What You Pray For...Lesson Learned

I was out to lunch the other day with a friend who exclaimed, “I need a man!” She went on to share that she had been praying for one.

I was supportive and listened to her angst about feeling lonely and alone. The mindless dating. The hurried sex. The lack of intimacy.

I finally lovingly told her, “Be careful of what you ask for. The universe has a way of answering you. I once asked for a man. I sure did get one! It didn't matter what a low down dirty dog he was who beat me, ridiculed me, who I hated having sex with, and I don't think ever loved me. But GOD you know what, “I had a MAN!”. *SNAP*

She giggled at my story and went on to share that she was missing a connection.

I encouraged her to ask for that. I also reminded her that if she was going to be putting a request in for “a man” please be a little more descriptive.

What I've learned about prayer is that they get answered.

I'm a deeply spiritual person who works very hard at it. Let's be clear...I am not religious zealot. I enjoy the ritual of religion and I do belong to church. I go to listen to the sermons and I bear witness to the gospel. It all works for me.

Toxic People: Emotional Vampires

I've learned over the years that toxic people are attracted to me. My caretaking personality and belief that 'anything is possible when helping people realize change' and 'nothing is random in the universe', draws them to me.

What are toxic people?

They are those people that talk about themselves all the time. They are always in pain. Their problems are always worse than yours. They have a deeper and more profound experience than you. They don't care to ask you about what is going on in your life. They don't care to ask you about your feelings. They do not care about anyone else but themselves.

How do you extract toxic people out of your life?

STOP taking their calls. STOP talking to them. They WILL NOT hear you tell them about their behavior and how it affects you. They DO NOT care what you think. They are there to take as much from you as they can.

I have tried many times to rationalize having these people in my life. I've told myself, 'I'm being unreasonable'. I need to be nicer. I'm being selfish when they need to talk. Ultimately, they take and don't care. Their behavior is abusive.

It's OK to walk away from these people. It's OK not to ever talk to them again. It's OK to wave a friendly, “hello” and run like hell.

Understand that their purpose in your life is to teach you that, “I matter”. “I deserve to participate in a mutually beneficial relationship”. Period – End of Story!