Friday, June 17, 2011

Games Men Play: An Aha Moment

I flung my prayer to heaven and it rained love.

I ran into Elvis* last night and he poured out his unyielding love for me. He described his attempts at getting my attention. He was angry that I turned him down. I heard his angst. I stood there and took it. He jabbed, to the left - to the right. I tried apologizing but he didn't want to hear it. I tried to say let's give it another try but he wasn't going to have it.

When I realized he was aiming to hurt me and make me feel bad. I checked myself out. His partner in this effort was my neighbor – Angela. I stopped. I realized the madness that was standing before me. So...I encouraged them to get together. Get to know each other. I didn't want any part of it. I walked away.

Elvis ran after me. I gently nudged him aside and told him it was ok. He could leave with her. No harm, no foul. He wanted me to feel bad. It made me wonder if he heard my prayer earlier.

Earlier in the evening, at Peavy Plaza, I stood listening to a band sing a song about love does live here and it will come along. It blared through the speakers. A sign, meant for me. An 'aha moment'. I heard it God! LOL I giggled. I knew everything was ok. My prayer was officially heard.

Needless to say, I gave Elvis my number but he threw it down as he stomped out. It was his last act of hurt. He was going to hurt me regardless. I wasn't engaging with him. I just picked up the paper then threw it away. Whatever, loser...

I imagine what could have happened if I was with Elvis but I knew. I know, I don't want to meet someone at a bar. I want someone to take me to dinner. Let's do grown up things. Let's get to know each other. Let's not pretend. I lived in my truth.

After his outburst, I went to the Saloon and danced. I danced alone. I danced with strangers. I danced. I didn't need someone to define me. I wanted to dance. I danced.

At the end of the night I said a prayer of thanksgiving. I hear you god. Thank you for the strength to keep my life in order. Truthfully...

*Note:  Seriously, his name is Elvis.  He is an African American man from New Orleans, LA

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