Saturday, May 28, 2011

“Why you all up in my business?” and “The next time my name crosses your lips, I hope you choke on it.”: Getting Talked About

What I've come to know is that when people want to know about your life they (1) truly just want to know what is going on (2) want to commiserate in life's journey in order to ensure that their misery is not being felt alone (3) want to be inspired and know that things do get better (4) find your life fascinating (5) want to know that their life really isn't that bad.

I try to live my life honestly and as openly as possible. If you really want to know about my life and what is going on then just ask. When I hear some of the things people say about me, I giggle. Really! I'm not that exciting. I wake up everyday and figure out what needs to get done. I spend time with Sonny. I write. I read. I observe so I can write. If I am lucky enough and a friend calls for an adventure of “hanging out” then I'm usually game. Not really that complicated. Not exciting.

I once read something about the unexamined life is not worth living. I still grapple with this notion. I have spent years in therapy uncovering and healing from trauma. I've spent time there understanding myself. I've reprogrammed my tapes in my head so I'm gentler to myself. I've learned to engage honestly and productively with people so that we can live mutually beneficial lives. I've learned to run like hell from drama and gossipy people. If people want to get ugly and speak ugly about other people then I'm usually not an active participant. Everyone is just getting by. I'd rather generate love and goodness for the world. I've seen what the ugliness can do.

I heard a phrase the other day and I've been pondering it. “The next time my name crosses your lips, I hope you choke on it.” After I read it, I read it again and again. I finally digested what they were saying: Don't be talking about me. Huh? People will talk and will always talk. We are social creatures and we exchange information all the time.

I believe in their colorful statement their not wanting to be talked about meant that what was being said was harmful. Hmmm...words do hurt and what people say does matter, sometimes. I like a tidbit of advice I heard once before – “Don't worry about what people call you. Worry about what you answer to.”

Hello, my name is Nick. I have many labels that describe a part of my life. I like the simplicity of my name and don't like to show everything the first time we meet. Ask if you want to know.

I've come to know if you are living your life honestly and according to what your vision for life is or what your intuition is calling you to do then what other people say about it shouldn't matter. I don't have the energy to engage in petty gossip. Simple minds think simple things. Yes, I am saying that. If people are talking about me its cause I'm living my life. If they can learn from it – great. If not, it ain't my problem.

When I allow pettiness to circumvent my vision for living my life fully then I am allowing myself to be unduly influenced. I don't want to spiral into misery. I want to strive and live. Our time here is short and goes by really quick. I don't want to spend it harnessing and hurling hurt. I want to enjoy the love and beauty that surrounds me. I want to laugh until my sides hurt. I want to dance like no one is watching. I want to travel and see the world. I want to write what I know. I want people to experience joy cause I know I do.

Stop worrying about people being in your business. Cause you can't do anything about that. Even when you do nothing they will talk. I say, Baby, give 'em something to talk about. Cause I know I am.

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